Sunday 24 July 2011

The Australian publishes for the lulz


Hold on to your hats, good folk in the media! opens The Australian newspaper's Media Blog article on 12 July 2011 titled The little crap sheet that could, as News Corporation was preparing to front a U.K. parliamentary committee.

It went on to say:

Crikey says today that it’s going to draw up a Code of Conduct - for itself!
Of course it won’t be some wanky document it uses to fan its face.
Once it’s done, you can expect:
a) to get a call from Crikey staff, each and every time they intend to smear you;
b) no more using the answers you give, in good faith, to sneer and giggle at you a second time; on the contrary, you’ll get a fair, honest, mature hearing;
c) no more quoting from cheap-shot anonymous emails which, whether they believe it or not, most media outlets get, and most choose to ignore;
d) no more nastiness, in the putrid swamp that is the Crikey comments thread;
e) no more publishing, verbatim, the emails from PR flaks that yes, everyone gets, but no-one else goes near (Did you see this mistake, on Nine?! Did you see that mistake, on Seven!) not least because it makes them look cheap, nasty and lazy;
f) a celebration from Crikey, each and every time one of their enemies (none of which they’ve ever met) does something good, as opposed to piling on the bile;
g) some original reporting for a change, instead of endless raking over what other media are doing;
h) no more carping at successful media companies that employ many staff, do many good things, try new ideas, and who occassionally [sic]
fail but at least give it a go, when the best Crikey can do is put out a dicky little newsheet, 90 per cent of which is recycled, bitchy, or wrong;
i) pigs, flying.


Now I've stopped uncontrollably laughing at The Howard Abbott Gazette, I would point out to its management and staff that, as a newspaper in the News Limited group, it also has a Professional Code of Conduct which was drawn up by the parent company itself - presumably which it also uses to fan its face et ectera.

The anonymous journalist sarcastically writing in Media Diary unintentionally furthers the case for removal of the media's right to self-regulate its own behaviour through that tame and toothless body, the Australian Press Council.

1 comment:

Patricia WA said...

Hi CG! Like you, I imagine, I really hope that News Ltd. too gets swept up in the storm (maybe tornado?) which is engulfing Murdoch's evil empire in the northern hemisphere.

Not sure if you've seen my two latest pomes re. Murdoch but this from way back seems to fit your post on the cant from the Australian about their code of ethics might amuse you.

I had pulled it out planning to re-write the last verse after watching Mike Sutchbury on the offensive on Insiders yesterday against the likely privacy enquiry by the government here.

What’s this talk of media bias?
We at News are honest, pious,
We meet our readership’s desires.
Yes, some are climate change deniers.
That’s why Greenies, fans of Gaia’s,
Sneer as if we were pariahs!
Pacifists who promote ceasefires
Say we collude with arms suppliers.
We can always claim ‘ultra vires’
If a politician enquires
Into why this or that transpires.
Anyway they’re just leftie liars.
We just report, as Rupert requires.
‘Cos we know he’s the man who hires
Only journos whom he admires.
We also know of those he fires
On each new paper he acquires.

Don’t hope for this to change when he expires.
We will survive. Just look how well he ‘sires’
And know, this man we’ve helped build these empires
Plans to be the first whom not even death retires.