Showing posts with label dark humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dark humour. Show all posts

Friday 4 August 2023

A classic doorstep interview with the mother-in-law of a NSW politician


Excerpt from an article in The Sydney Morning Herald on 3 August 2023:


Outside her large home in the seaside suburb of Merewether, Santina Manitta berated reporters and warned they would be shot for asking questions about the family’s property holdings at the heart of this saga.


As for her besieged son-in-law, she had this to say: “My son is a f---ing politician. F--- you and f--- them.”


Pressed over why her son-in-law had been sacked, Manitta could not offer any explanation.


Truly, sincerely, I don’t give a s---,” she said. “Look, you’ve got to understand politicians are there because they’re f --- ing dumb.


I told you if my son get arrested, good, I’m happy for him ... because he should never have been a politician. It is wasting his time.”


It was only hours after Crakanthorp was sacked as a minister and referred to the corruption watchdog for failing to disclose “substantial” private family holdings and breaching the ministerial code of conduct.


Tuesday 23 October 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his Cabinet at the Wentworth By-election Debriefing


 Captions

0:00.50-0:03.25
Every polling booth has been wrapped in plastic
0:04.00-0:05.50
We took down their posters everywhere
0:05.65-0:07.50
and put ours up, here and here
0:08.00-0:12.00
The Blueshirts are out in force on every street
0:12.10-0:15.50
It's been a show of strength, we couldn't have done anything more.
0:17.50-0:19.00
The natural order has been restored
0:19.00-0:21.50
Wentworth will remain a blue ribbon Liberal seat.
0:24.75-0:26.50
Mein Morrison
0:27.50-0:28.50
There's been a swing...
0:31.00-0:33.50
...of more than 20% from the LNP
0:34.00-0:36.00
Kerryn Phelps has won
0:53.00-0:58.50
All the leftards who said we should run a female candidate in Wentworth, go outside with the women.
1:13.00-1:15.00
What is wrong with these Eastern suburbs' bastards?
1:15.25-1:17.75
We are Wentworth's born to rule party
1:18.75-1:23.25
This is a nightmare: Independent, Jewish AND gay.
1:25.25-1:28.00
And to top it all off, she's a woman!
1:29.25-1:31.00
It's like the politically correct quadrella from Hell!
1:31.50  -  1:34.00
We have held this seat since federation
1:34.751:37.75
That's 1901, long before lesbians were even invented!
1:37.50-1:40.50
I thought she wasn't running because she had HIV, why is she even here?!?
1:40.50-1:42.75
That was just a vicious rumour we tried to start last week.
1:42.75-1:46.25
Well now we're as popular as needles in strawberries... with chlamydia
1:46.50-1:48.80
We were trying to appeal to the party's conservative base
1:48.80-1:52.00
Why not something clever like, "Wentworth, where the bloody hell are you?"
1:53.00-1:54.50
We got our tax cuts through, 5% unemployment,
1:56.00-1:57.75
we gave everyone a bagel
1:57.75-2:00.50
and every surf club a pile of money, except for that schmuck at Tamarama.
2:00.50-2:03.50
No soup for you, Mr ALP surf club president Tim Murray!
2:04.50-2:08.00
We risked WW3 moving the Israeli embassy to Jerusalem
2:08.75- 2:13.50
and pissed off every Muslim between here and the Arctic circle
2:14.00- 2:16.75
and despite ALL that, they still didn't vote for us!
2:17.50- 2:21.75
We backed that ranga clown Hanson that it's #oktobewhite
2:27.00-2:29.00
No-one told me Sharma was Indian
2:30.50- 2:34.00
Tony and Potatohead didn't think this one through
2:34.50- 2:36.50
Cash splash? It was like a golden shower of cash!
2:41.00-2:42.50
20%? That's the biggest swing
2:43.00-2:47.50
since they hung that wop bastard Mussolini
2:48.50-2:53.00
I blame Halal Mal, his traitor son and the Dickhead for Warringah
2:54.00-2:56.00
We're going to have to lift our prayer game this Sunday
2:56.50-2:59.75
I grew up in bloody Wentworth, my cop dad used to arrest lesbians
3:00.00-3:02.50
Why didn't they elect us?
3:04.75-3:07.50
Don't give up Julie, you might get Veterans' Affairs
3:14.25-3:16.25
It's all good fellas
3:19.25-3:23.25
Don't worry, keep your chins up
3:25.55-3:26.75
We can reinstate Barnaby as Deputy PM
3:31.50-3:33.75
We'll get the band back together.
3:40.75-3:46.25
We exhumed John Howard for this campaign, we could try Menzies next time
3:46.50-3:49.00
After all, I'm a marketing genius, right?
3:53.75-3:56.00
It's not easy being a white male.

Saturday 24 February 2018

A little bit of Saturday silliness



"Beware of the Dog" sign from the wonderful world of Google Search​

Thursday 6 October 2011

Rumour Mills: an interesting exchange


Well, this has to be a first. Rather wishy-washy allegations of Abbott The Pants Man…….
On an open thread over at Café Whispers on the 24th September 2011:

There’s a rumour going around that Abbott’s been kicked out of home after being caught having an affair with the daughter of a financial backer. Still only a rumour.
Sue
Min
Rumours are always nasty, there are plenty around. The trouble for Abbott is his continual comparison of himself as a “family man” and the jump therefore superior to the PM. Earlier this year there was the “bar maid ” in WA, quickly closed down.

El gordo, so far the Abbott thing is just a bit of hot juicy gossip and I haven’t seen anything factual come to light as yet. I’ve had a look on some of the anti-Abbott sites and can’t find any mention.
Catching up
“That’s surprising, I didn’t think that Tony Abbott was in love with anything but his own image.”
Min, does the man have to be in love?
What Tony wants, Tony takes.
PS How would anyone know if he has been ejected from home, he is never there to make a comparison with.
Maybe that is why he is always on the road, promoting his “no” case. He has not a home to go to.

Sunday 22 August 2010

Can't say it often enough.....


Twitter #ausvotes top tweet early this morning:

Death Star PR DeathStarPR

If Abbot wins, rich, heterosexual middle-aged conservative Christian white people might FINALLY get a say in how Australia is run. #ausvotes